Random Insanity Alliance Forum, Mark V
Cactuar Zone => Random lnsanity => Topic started by: Kenneth Kenstar on January 13, 2012, 07:26:58 am
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It's twenty US dollars. Straight cash that would appear in your pocket, purse, bank account whatever you want
or would you rather be the most credible source of tampon expertise? Like, you would be respected in tampon discussion circles. You would instantly know everything about them.
You could be a credible expert called in to court cases if tampons were brought up or something, whatever. I'm sure there are a lot of possibilities with this.
Presumably, you would be the #1 tampon expert until you die.
I'm not guaranteeing anything with this (like you'll be a tampon engineer or own a tampon company), but I'm sure the possibilities are there.
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Man, four people came into this topic and didn't even post
This isnt a bad topic is it
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:nothing:
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Fuck man, I wish I was a tampon expert. I'd pick that for sure. Do you have any idea how impressed women would be with your knowledge of what they shove up their vaginas?
The answer is very.
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I'll take the money.
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i will take the money and invest it in a box of tampons. I will then have change and be the #1 expert on tampons
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I'll take the expertise and threaten to share it with any man who doesn't give me a 20.
first thing I'm gonna buy is a jacuzzi.
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And you wonder why random women get more attention than you...
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I'm sure being the foremost expert would command a high paid salary in his or her field, I'll take the knowledge and the high paying job.
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20 bucks.
Its possible that by being the tampon expert, i'd get to look at and feel up a lot of pussies in my "research", however, most of those, if not all, would be puffed up and bleedy. >_>
Ill take the 20 thanks.
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Its possible that by being the tampon expert, i'd get to look at and feel up a lot of pussies in my "research"
(http://rialliance.net/GIF/chappelledylon.gif)
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I feel somehow biased... But I'd rather take $15, and maybe ask the expert $5 in questions. How'd you get stuck with this gig and shit.
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Well, I thought last night "I wouldn't pay more than 20 dollars to know everything there is about tampons"
So this topic
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Well, I thought last night "I wouldn't pay more than 20 dollars to know everything there is about tampons"
So this topic
dude, you must get the weirdest informercials where you live. "but call now and we'll give you the latest edition of Winthorpe and Oglesby's Definitive Tampon Encyclopaedia Set; that's right, you can have it all for the low, low price of just 19.99"
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I'll take the 20. I could get a lot of candy with 20 dollars.
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I'll take the 20. I could get a lot of candy with 20 dollars.
You prefer children to women?
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I just like candy.
Would you rather have 20 dollars, or 20 dollars worth of candy?
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20 dollars worth of edible candy tampons?
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I wonder if fresh used tampons are like candy to vampires.
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(http://doubletake-media.com/movie_of_the_weak_bash_plan_9.jpg)
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I wonder if fresh used tampons are like candy to vampires.
(http://rialliance.net/GIF/frown%20frown%20smile.gif)
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I would have to go with Gangs on this one. I don't think you would call an expert unless something when horribly wrong with the tampon. Here is a short list of things I would not like to be called in for my expertise:
- Excessive urinal tract infection rates
- Disintegration of the tampon upon insertion
- Removal of a stuck tampon
- "forgot to take it out for 2 weeks" scenario
- Removing a tampon from ass
- Over-inserted
- "my kid ate a tampon" scenario
- Inserted too many tampons
- How to recycle used tampons
- Designing the first vibrating tampon (bluetooth activated)
- "my dog ate a tampon" scenario
- "my kids ate a box of tampons" scenario
- How to manufacture a "green" tampon
- Conducting the 'white bikini test' prior to shooting an ad
- Dealing with user feedback asking for a bigger, meatier, penis-shaped tampon
- Designing a 'quiff-less' tampon
- Called in to testify that the tampon was not safe for intercourse without prior removal
- Any new product testing
So yeah, I would take the 20 bucks, have a few beers, scratch my balls and thank God for them.
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Did you literally type all that shit
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no man - cut and paste job from your mom's website.
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Kenny is under rated
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- Designing the first vibrating tampon (bluetooth activated)
that is brilliant. mind if i patent that?
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Go ahead. Everything is better with Bluetooth.
Here are a few more things I could skip:
- Designing a mood tampon (you know, like a mood ring). Only problem is that it would probably always be red.
- Marketing a tampon empregnated with an opiate. You know, so she will just chill out.
- Developing a geo-fencing RFID embedded tampon to track where tampons wind up after they are used.
- Creating dual use tampons/earplugs
- Putting together a chess set made of different tampons for marketing convention purposes. Then trying to find the lost piece.
Am I the only one whose dread is this specific? The more I think of it, I think I would take 18$...
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Ok here are a few more:
- Having to liaise with a string expert to address the 'wick' effect
- Collecting and analysing data on tampon allergies
- Designing a tampon for men to use to deal with anal leakage after eating 3 tubes of Pringles back to back
- Adressing user feedback on the need for a fire-retardant tampon
- Swords to plowshares: working with the cigarette manufacturers on how to modify their filter euipment to produce tampons in order to improve return on assets
I am down to $17