I would have to go with Gangs on this one. I don't think you would call an expert unless something when horribly wrong with the tampon. Here is a short list of things I would not like to be called in for my expertise:
- Excessive urinal tract infection rates
- Disintegration of the tampon upon insertion
- Removal of a stuck tampon
- "forgot to take it out for 2 weeks" scenario
- Removing a tampon from ass
- Over-inserted
- "my kid ate a tampon" scenario
- Inserted too many tampons
- How to recycle used tampons
- Designing the first vibrating tampon (bluetooth activated)
- "my dog ate a tampon" scenario
- "my kids ate a box of tampons" scenario
- How to manufacture a "green" tampon
- Conducting the 'white bikini test' prior to shooting an ad
- Dealing with user feedback asking for a bigger, meatier, penis-shaped tampon
- Designing a 'quiff-less' tampon
- Called in to testify that the tampon was not safe for intercourse without prior removal
- Any new product testing
So yeah, I would take the 20 bucks, have a few beers, scratch my balls and thank God for them.