Qualified to manage you but not old enough to drink

[Buck Turgidson]

Cairo sucks.  In northern Canada you can drink in a forest and no one will hear you fall down.

[Leo]

Canada sucks, in Mexico you can get boiled in a vat of liquor and the authorities won't do a thing about it.

[Buck Turgidson]

Mexico sucks.  In church you can drink and they'll tell you it's some dude's blood.

[Pterrydactyl]

Mexico sucks.  In church you can drink and they'll tell you it's some dude's blood.

WE HAVE A WINNER

[Buck Turgidson]

Not done.  Church sucks.  In Thailand you can drink in the streets, waist-high in water.

[Holy Ruler]

Mexico sucks.  In church you can drink and they'll tell you it's some dude's blood.

WE HAVE A WINNER

[Holy Ruler]

Thailand sucks. In China you can drink water, but in reality it is all the toxic shit you can imagine.

[Leo]

China sucks, in Japan the water is radioactive.

[Holy Ruler]

Japan sucks. In Brazil, football is radioactive.

[Leo]

Brazil sucks, in Argentina it's called futbol.

[Buck Turgidson]

Argentina sucks.  In the Incan Empire, the football was someone's head.

[Leo]

The Incan Empire sucks. In Chile, the indigenous people successfully repelled Incan expansion into their territory.

[Holy Ruler]

Chile sucks, in Somalia the indigenous people have repelled invasions for thousands of years

[Pterrydactyl]

Somalia sucks, the America, we fought ourselves and won.

[Holy Ruler]

America sucks. In the Ottoman empire they fought one another and became about 20 European and Middle Eastern nations.

[Buck Turgidson]

The Ottoman Empire sucks.  In Iran they think they can build nukes without my permission (and it is looking like I will have to get Israel or the US to grease their reactor).

[Fake from State Jarm]

[russian accent]Israel or the US sucks. In New Soviet Russia we are first country to be located entirely on moon and will threaten to crash our homeland into earth at slightest provocation by illiterate western pigdogs, taking concept of mutually assured destruction to glorious new kheightz. In the several decades it will take for our primitive solar powered ion thruster technology to push orbiting body into homeplanet, do not foolishly attempt to predict point of impact and dig miles deep kholes on opposite side of globe, but rather end with dignified pursuits such as reading of classic russian literature. Might I recommend Tolstoy or Dostoevsky?[/russian accent]

[Pterrydactyl]

[russian accent]Израиль или США сосут. В Новой советской России мы - первая страна, которая будет расположена полностью на луне и будем угрожать потерпеть крушение наша родина в землю в малейшей провокации неграмотным западом pigdogs, беря понятие взаимно гарантированного уничтожения к великолепному новому kheightz.  За эти несколько десятилетий будет требоваться для нашей примитивной солнечной включенной технологии охотника иона, чтобы выдвинуть орбитальное тело в homeplanet, по-дурацки не попытайтесь предсказать точку падения ракеты и вырыть мили глубоко kholes на противоположной стороне земного шара, а скорее конца с достойным преследованием, типа показания классической российской литературы. Я мог бы рекомендовать Толстому или Достоевскому?[/russian accent]

Fixxed.

[Buck Turgidson]

New Soviet Russia sucks.  On Mars, they have transcended, but remember that the moon is a harsh mistress.

[Holy Ruler]

Mars sucks.On earth we have thousands of warheads held by mentally unstable politicians high on hate.