I was a little confused as to what type of expository essay this was. The thesis made it look like it was going to be an example essay. The body made it appear to be a defining essay. The conclusion made it appear as though the paper should have been a persuasive essay.
The first body paragraph does not seen to support the thesis, yes it defines gifted, but it does not prove how being gifted makes life harder.
The second body paragraph has a similar issue. It does almost nothing to prove the thesis, I would stamp it as irrelevant.
The third body paragraph is fine if this is an essay to define giftedness, but it really provides minimal support for the thesis. It shows the traits of different groups of the gifted, but does not explain how being gifted is makes life harder when one reads the information (only 10% are not "successful").
The fourth paragraph also appears to be irrelevant in regards to the thesis. It shows that programs are offered to help the gifted despite dissenters.
Overall the essay was confusing. According to the thesis the point was to prove how life was harder for gifted people. However you spent too much space defining gifted and concluded with an argument that still begs the question.
My suggestions:
1. Focus. Is the purpose of your essay to define "Giftedness" or prove how life is harder for the gifted?
2. If the purpose is to define giftedness, rewrite the thesis. If the purpose is your current thesis, then rewrite the body (the entire thing).
3. Rewrite your entire conclusion, this is not an argumentative essay. You are not trying to argue for the government to act on the situation of giftedness. You also have in no way proven that giftedness is a disorder.
If I turned this paper in to my teacher I would expect a D with the possibility of an F.
At this point I must ask what grade level this paper was meant for? I am rating it according to my grade level.
I hope I wasn't too harsh